


In the wrong

by Gaygaygalll



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Evan Hansen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:55:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24881158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gaygaygalll/pseuds/Gaygaygalll
Summary: Evan is insecure a d Conner helps him realize how much he loves him and how perfect he is
Relationships: Evan Hansen & Connor Murphy, Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy
Kudos: 21





	In the wrong

Connor straddled evan's waist and tucked his fingers lightly under the bottom his sweater, moving to pull it off and making to shrug out of the unbuttoned white shirt he wore at the same time.

"Stop." Evan looked uncomfortable.

"What's wrong?" conner's eyes were filled with concern, but the rest of his expression was purely defensive.

"Just don't, alright?"

"Do you,"conner felt awkward and insecure, and dropped his eyes away from evan's. "Do you not want to have sex with me?"

"What?" Evan sounded genuinely shocked. "Conner, no, it's not that!" He ran his large hand up connor's torso, dark skin contrasting with the brown's pallor.

"Is it.... Is it the marks? Do you not want me to take off my shirt so you don't have to see it?" His voice was both cross and oddly brittle and vunerable and he stood up, moving away from evan but still not looking up at him.

"Fuck, no. No, conner, it's not that, I promise you, it's not." Evan ran his hand through his hair anxiously; how could he have made this gorgeous man feel so uncomfortable and insecure? He really was an idiot.

"Well, then, what is it?!" Evan snapped, finally looking up. "What is so wrong with me that you don't want to fuck me? I know I'm not the most attractive man, but fuck, evan!"

Evan looked stricken. "Conner, no, fuck. It's nothing like that. You're fucking gorgeous, ok? It's nothing to do with that."

"Well what is it to do with then?!"

"It's to do with me!" evan's hand was tangled in his own hair now and he pulled lightly, anxious as conner looked confused. "It's to do with the fact that once i take off my sweater, you won't want to touch me anymore." His voice was barely above a mumble now.

"Evan, what on Earth are you talking about?" Conner took a step towards evan, who's green eyes were glassy with tears. "Why wouldn't I want to touch you anymore?"

"Because... because...." Evan looked down, nervous and uncomfortable. "Because I'm fat." He whispered, tears running down his cheeks now.

"What? Evan, what are you talking about?" Conner leaned down and placed his hand on the side of evan's face, rubbing away the tears with his thumb. "You're not fat, and even if you were, I'd still want to touch you. I don't care about that."

"You say that, but you haven't seen.... I'm disgusting." Evan was still whispering.

"Evan, I promise you, you're not disgusting. Will you please take your sweater off?" His hand was still resting on his boyfriend's cheek.

"I don't...." Evan looked up at conner's face, not expecting the gentle concern reflected in it. "Okay." He pulled the oversized green sweater over his head and wrapped his arms around his stomach. It stuck out slightly over the waistband of his trousers.

Conner ran his hand down the side of eva's neck, and then over his shoulder and down his right arm, lightly tugging his arms away from his stomach, and then rubbing his palms gently over the small crease at the base of evan's stomach with reverence. The shorter man's eyes were screwed up tight and his hands were clenched in tight fists.

"Evan , love, will you please look at me." Evan opened his eyes slowly, expecting his boyfriend's fine features to be painted with disgust, but the look on conner's face was about as far from disgust as it could be. A mixture of adoration and love and arousal, threaded through with concern about how insecure evan seemed to be was gazing down at him. "I love you, okay? Not because of this," conner's hand slowly moved over evan's body "Or this," his hand now made it's way back up to caress evan's face tenderly, "although both of these things are bonuses, I promise you," he smiled. "But because you're the kindest, most incredible person I've ever met. You're sweet and supportive, you're smarter than anyone gives you credit for, you're funny without even trying, you make no sense most of the time, and I honestly have no clue what goes on in your head sometimes, and you're stubborn and you make me crazy, and I genuinely don't understand how you could think I'd ever stop being attracted to you, but I love you for who you are. Every part of you. And you are so fucking handsome and you don't even realize it, and your body is incredible. I don't care if you're a bit bigger, it just means" conner sat himself back in evan's lap and leaned forwards slightly "that you're more comfortable when I want to do this." Evan laughed lightly at that. "Seriously, if you were still at skinny as you were at school, which wasn't healthy, by the way, this would be nowhere near as comfortable!" Conner was grinning down at his ridiculous, handsome boyfriend now, and evan was giving him a weak smile in return.

"I love you." Evan leaned up and captured conner's lips in a kiss that started off as soft, but quickly deepened into something much more heated, and Conner found himself shrugging off the shirt he still half-wore and clasping his arms around evan's neck. Evan stood from the edge of the bed, conner's legs still clasped around his hips, and turned them, pressing his boyfriend into the mattress and covering his slight frame with his own, much larger one. "Is this okay? I'm not crushing you?"

Conner responded to evan's concerns by pulling him down harder on top of him. "You're not going to crush me, ev. Now will you please, for the love of merlin, just fuck me already?"

**Author's Note:**

> Evan gets over his eating disorder and Connor loves him non the less


End file.
